Who am I?

To a world, I’m just a shell
A stranger, distant, silent
I keep my walls up high and well
No danger, no contact

But those who know me deep, they see
A soul that’s different
I weep, I cling, I cringe; I need
Their love to be content

I spill my secrets, fears, and thoughts
I talk until I’m spent;
I share the things that no one knows
I vent and seek their love

But there are things I never say
Some parts that are dark and hidden
I lock them in my heart and pray
That they won’t tear me open

I’m not the same for everyone
I change with every bond,
I’m only me when I’m with none
But then I feel alone

Who am I? I often wonder
Am I quiet or outspoken?
Do I thrive in coffins or in crowds?
Am I whole or am I broken?

Sometimes I feel like two extremes
An introvert, an extrovert,
Sometimes I’m somewhere in between
A puzzle, a mystery, a flirt

Sometimes I feel like all the world
A human with a thousand feelings
Sometimes I feel like nothing at all
Unappealing, a stranger to myself

I repeat the words that soothe my mind
I know myself, I tell myself
But do I really? Can I find
The truth behind this changing self?

Irfan Habeeb
Irfan Habeeb

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