Breaking the fear: From silence to speech

I used to stammer a lot
I used to hide my voice
I wanted to speak, but I could not
I had no other choice

I kept silent for many years
Even though I longed to share
I don’t know if you can feel my fears
To talk, but not to dare

I can talk, but I would stutter
No matter how hard I try
There’s always that starting clutter
That makes me want to cry

Many of you may not imagine
How tough it was for me
To be in a crowd of opinion
Where stammering was the key

It doesn’t affect the life, they say
Unless you have to talk
But imagine a life of dismay
Where you can’t even walk

You can’t talk, but you need and want
You stammer and you shake
You get anxious and you pant
When someone tries to make

I forgot I even had lips
To utter and to say
I only had nods and slips
To communicate my way

And one day, I started talking
Whatever came to mind
I was nervous and I was rocking
But I left my fear behind

I started replying, not just nodding
I started asking, not just silence
I started narrating, not just writing
I started living, not just pretense

Words got stuck many times
But I tried and I tried
People laughed at my rhymes
But I smiled and I sighed

People were sympathetic or cruel
Many were silent or loud
Only few were kind or cool
But I was proud and I bowed

You even get mocking from your own
Your family, your friends, your neighbors
It used to hurt me to the bone
But it became a usual flavor

And slowly and slowly I started talking calmly
And I got rid of the stammering
Whenever I kept calm, I didn’t stutter badly
And I enjoyed the chattering

That’s how I got rid of the struggle
That’s how I overcame the hurdle
I am not that kind of social bugle
But I don’t hesitate to mingle

It wasn’t easy, stammering is not a disease
It’s a way of speaking, that’s how I see it
Anyone can stammer, anyone can freeze
It’s a matter of mind, that’s how I beat it..

Irfan Habeeb
Irfan Habeeb

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